Do you fall for their lips?
When you kiss them,
Do they taste like red wine?
Or you fall for their hips
Or their skin that is so velvety.
Did you fall for their looks?
If they look like me
Or Mona Lisa’s painting… I wonder.
Do you fall for their scent?
When you hold them,
Do they smell like new paint?
Do you fall for their curves like Lock port caves?
Dust, we are.
We’ve to enjoy what we got now.
Dusk till morning,
Lust is not Haram, I know.
But for years of fucking girls who cannot articulate their mother first name.
Girls who are afraid to say,
They used to eat cassava with beans.
What we call INGEREKERANE in our language you no longer use.
But after years running away from who you are,
You find yourself under the Acacia tree.
Under the acacia tree where we first kissed,
And you popped my cherry.
When the pond froze
I caved your name on it surface
The frozen pond melted away and
Your image became blur in my eyes.
I see you holding the acacia tree,..
Like your life depend on it.
I hear you crying and screaming,..
In a language you haven’t used for decades.
But at least you are back home.

-Ange🇷🇼

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She Is That Woman

January 2015, I was buried beneath my white bed sheets listening to the rhymes of pouring rain and the moans of trees making love as they collided due to the blowing winds.

I couldn’t sleep that night, I was thinking of all the things I could’ve done, the roads I could have travelled, the places I could’ve explored, the beats I could have danced to, weak people I could have helped and my dreams that will never be turned into reality.

For me happiness refers to traveling with a camera, taking pictures from different places, creating visual wonderlands, moving to the beats like no body is watching, helping people, exploring new things and places.

To be honest, I never dreamt of richness, fame. I never dreamt of being anything big, owning big houses, cars not even much money. I only need a few pesa to survive. I wanted to travel the world with a camera, taking pictures from different angles.

Wait, before anyone starts saying why didn’t you do it. I use a wheelchair, I can’t travel the whole world with my camera like I wanted to.

I remember one day, me and my family went to visit Kalisimbi mountain where amasimbi (small white crystals) lays on its head shining, a scenery that calls you the moment you see it.

I mean I may be lying that is what I was told but never seen, I just stayed down looking at the evergreen forest with tall trees that sorounded the volcano.

I wanted to go beyond the forest and climb the mountain. but it’s okay.

At least I got there, some kids with disabilities don’t have wheelchairs, they don’t know the world beyond their beds, they don’t know how to read and write, they don’t have a place to express their feelings.

Other are hated by their families. People stares as they pass, most don’t smile at them they laugh and it makes them wonder what they did not to be like others. they are mistreated, excluded, wounded and haunted by their suicidal thoughts, depression and pain. and at the end of the day no one tells them; there’s something beyond that wheelchair, beyond those canes and beyond your disability.

In primary I studied at Gatagara in Nyanza, there was a boy who had physical disabilities, they called him Gisimba which means animal in Kinyarwanda. Think about it, what if you were that boy? Uhm. His life is a story for another day but think about him and what you are doing today to change the perspective of society towards people who have disabilities.

I was saying I wanted to travel the world with a camera till the day my body will be turned back into mud, they’re many reasons why I love photography so much;

It captures bad events so that the world will understand the ugliness of the world because happiness comes not from the desire to be happy but from the understanding the ugliness of being sad.

I wanted to capture beauty and keep them eternal.

Photography freezes moments along with beauty in time. Even when people change, they remain the same in the pictures.

Without light, we see nothing. I wanted to capture the light, including reflected, diffused, transmitted, and directed light that brings life to an image.

Light is the lifeblood of an image and photography allows you to feel, that light.

Photography allows you to capture the beauty inside of a person that not everyone can find.

As I was thinking about all my dreams that will never be turned into reality. I started to cry, one negative thoughts led to another till I thought about dying.

Suicidal thoughts are really, I’ve been having them from when I was 9 years and now I’m 18. Many people think suicide is selfish and for the weak, stupid people but you never know people’s pain unless you’re walking in their shoes.

The saying that suicide is stupidity makes a person who hear it become more suicidal that because he feels as if what he’s feeling is not normal.

Every time my favorite songs played on a radio, I said I could’ve danced to this, everytime all students left me alone in classroom I said I could have done this and that, I couldn’t travel to Kigali using public transport it’s difficult so I always missed art events in Kigali though I was interested in attending them and so many chances that I could have taken.

I started feeling everything in a negative way and since everything that would have made me happy was out of my reach, I thought dying was the only solution.

“The time when we starts to think that death is better than life.”

I started planning my suicide method, I thought about using heroine but it’s expensive.

I thought about paracetamol but when I read how it will take two weeks for me to die a painful death I didn’t, they’re many reasons why I never did it and said I will do it later.

In all this journey of depression and suicidal thoughts my mother was there, she told me you will be fine, there’s a reason why you’re like that, you were born for a purpose, happiness can be found everywhere, miracles exist and so many strengthening words.

Little by little I started discovering something to live for “My Mom”.
Every time I thought about killing myself I always thought of the pain I’ll cause to my mother and said: “I shall live for her to be happy”.

Being born in a Christian family, I spend night and nights praying searching for miracles.

Back then when I was still in Nyanza I went to Ruhango every month, the place was called Kwa Yezu Nyirimpuhwe which meant (a place of Jesus who have mercy) the church would be filled with different people from different places, sometimes I slept on glasslands waiting for the church service to start in the morning, cold winds blowing the whole night, dew wetted my clothes but I didn’t mind, I was looking for miracles, I was looking for God.

I was looking for something to hold on.

Hahah, the miracle didn’t happen, maybe not yet. Funny I still believe in God but what else can you do?

My mom said that what to do when all is gone is to HOPE.

Prayers are not enough without love, for me heaven is love, God is love. Prayers never made me want to live but love did, love from my family especially my mother.

Today is my moda’s birthday.

She’s that woman who gave me life, she is that woman who made me want to live, she is that woman who taught me that happiness can be found everywhere and anywhere. That I can find happiness even in my wheelchair because I am the one who choose happiness, it doesn’t choose me.

She is a proof that not all heroes wear capes.

She is that woman who taught me love, humanity and happiness.

She told me “it’s okay if you want to die but before you die, live“.

I am living today and achieving many things I never thought I’ll achieve today.
You makes me feel that light, it’s okay if I never achieve my dreams. I’ll live. For you.

Happy Birthday, Mom!

~Womanhood (potter)~

Womanhood, the
potter,
moulded me into a
beautiful woman
from the clay of my
spinning mother’s
broken wings.
She said:
You mother was
born with ability
to fly but men cut
her wings.
They said:
She must think
not out of kitchen
Her fantasy must
be pleasing his man
not being pleased.
And Oh she must
never spread her
ideas but her legs.
As she put flowers
in the pots
She fries striped
potatoes in pans
She hits chords
but her echoes are
broken by walls of
a home she built.
She gave me her
broken wings
told me to carry
them to my
womanhood.
She said:
Add them to your
own wings
When it’s dark for
you and you don’t
know where to go
the scars of my
broken wings will
shine and show you
the way.
As I fly I spread the
echoes of the
freedom she never
had but I should have.
If you don’t like the
shades of my wings
Oh well… I can’t hide
scars unless they heal
And O please,
Don’t tell me how
I should colour them.

_

https://my.w.tt/Y7TpkD2evM Follow me on WattPad, read and vote. I want to see if I can edit all these poems and make a book one day.

How Dare You Deny?

International legal definition of Genocide states that Genocide is any of the following acts committed with intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnical, racial or religious group, as such: killing members of the group; causing serious bodily or mental harm to members of the group; deliberately inflicting on the group conditions of life calculated to bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part; imposing measures intended to prevent births within the group and forcibly transferring children of the group to another group.

Genocide is developed in 10 stages though some historians may combine some of them like Discrimination, Dehumanization to form one stage while Preparation, Persecution form one stage too and leads to 8 stages only.

The summary of 10 stages of Genocide:

As a student of history I have been thinking about these stages that I studied and came to a conclusion that Genocide against Tutsi in 1994 passed through all these stages and my only unanswered questions is How dare people deny it?

Let’s see how Genocide against Tutsi in 1994 passed through all these stages and why it shouldn’t be denied in any form.

10 Stages of Genocide Against Tutsi in 1994

1. Classification: Rwandan were divided into us and them (Tutsi and Hutu).

2. Symbolization: Rwanda were forced to identify themselves. They were symbolized by slight physical traits, economic activities like farming, pastoralism, Identification Card which states whether you’re Hutu or Tutsi.

3. Discrimination: Tutsi were discriminated from education and especially in politics.

4. Dehumanization: Tutsi were equaled to cockroaches, snakes. Tutsi were denied of their humanity.

5. Organization: military like interahamwe, administration and political parties were all organized to spread hate and start attacking Tutsi.

6. Polarization: The radios, newspaper and other forms of media were all being taken over by Hutu and used it to spread hateful messages to Tutsi and also used to bond Hutu against Tutsi.

7. Preparation: weapons machetes, guns were brought as well as more troops.

8. Persecution: Tutsi were separated using ID cards, their house were burned, they were sent to killing stations like stadiums, prisons, churches, etc.

9. Extermination: In 100 days approximately 800 000 Tutsi were murdered with machetes, guns and other traditional tools.

10. Denial: During Genocide itself UN denied that Genocide against Tutsi was taking place in Rwanda.

Denial extends the crime of Genocide to future generations of the victims. It’s a continuation of the intent to destroy the group.

Genocide against Tutsi in 1994 is sometimes denied in the following ways

  • Deny killings took place
  • Question and minimize statistics
  • Block access to archives and witness
  • Destroy evidence
  • Claim killing were in self defense
  • Blame the victims for what happened
  • Refusing to participate in a walk to remember
  • Comparing Genocide with Civil War
  • Calling it wrongful names
  • Etc.

I don’t understand why this is even a topic. Genocide Against Tutsi in 1994 took place and it was not a civil war, not self defense, and not because of the crash of Habyarimana plane. Genocide Against Tutsi in 1994 was intentionally planned long ago before the crash even took place.

It have been 24 years since the tragedy. Wounds and scars are still felt so how dare you deny the truth? How dare you deny something we saw with our two eyes, felt with our two hands? How can we forget something that crashed our souls? How can you deny something that took our own?

The truth hurt but heals so true stories must be told and written so the history must never repeat itself. It’s up to you and me not to deny our dark past so that we know how to differentiate it with the light. It’s up to you and me to use our pens, our social medias, our talents, our voices and our power to implement NEVER AGAIN”

Reference:

http://www.un.org/en/genocideprevention/genocide.html

The legal definition of Genocide by UN

http://genocidewatch.net/genocide-2/8-stages-of-genocide/

Legal accepted 10 stages of Genocide

  • angerw.wordpress.com

There’s A Life In Remembrance

One hundred days took away more than
Our one million reasons to have a smile
See, back then life was nothing but lies
Now that love, humanity seems to rise
History must be told till no one denies.

The drops of precious blood shouldn’t-
have been lost in a mud, Oh Mata, Mata
Mata was supposed to be filled with amata
But was filled with scarlet rain and pain
Lets take a walk to remember together
to honor the people we lost back then.

Back then, humanity was lost at any cost
As hate prevailed but love and sanity died
Who was left to protect the innocent lives,
Rich benefits from wars no wonder they-
never cared. We took matters in our own-
hands till we saw the light, there’s a hope.

Remember the road that brought you pain
That history must never repeat itself again
We remember to honor those who died for us
There’s a piece of us that belongs to them
We carry them inside our hearts, we remember
to show those who survived that we care.

She was sixteen and silence, Those who ate
with her father raped her because she was a-
Tutsi. Into our homes they came with force
Erased our existence with blood and swords
They took the bones out of our graves so that
The world would never know that we existed.

All land soaked with their blood, Will grow hope
from the mud through remembrance, I know
See, back then there was no hope to survive. But
to remember is to live, I’d be dead if I forget
There is a fruitful life and hope in remembrance.

AngeRw

Like Hurricanes

Being a loser, had always scared me
More than having a toast with a ghost
More than a jumbo snake on my neck.
And as I sat among all those blessed
Bodies that manifested achievements
My fear grew deeper than the deepest
that I could taste it between my lips!

I went outside and looked all the floras
Looking as greener as coniferous trees .
Oh, Rwanda, Rwanda, Rwanda! Everybody
loved Rwanda for being clean and green.
For my Musanze spring was a perfect season
It gave me hope that like trees shed their
leaves in autumn and grows back in spring
I’ll be a winner cause I was once a loser!

My life is like Marley without cigarettes
So I lit up the Marlboro and took a puff
Not only I wanted to feel myself though
That’s always part of it. It was just that…
I was shaking and needed a thing to hold!
You knew I loved you, you knew who I was
I was Ange The Loser with anthem “Fail”!

Scars ain’t a thing to hide but to display
with pride, Kintsugi of Japan thought me.
Each scars has its own story and beauty
So I started showing off my scars proudly.
I became a giant loser to you so I became
a loser to myself. That’s the things about
words – sometimes I let them define me!

Hurricanes, Hurricanes, Hurricanes! Who
would’ve thought that moist evaporated
from Pacific Ocean would cause a storm
so destructive like you. I never thought
your words would break me, I never knew
your words were strong until they sunk
in my scars and broke me like Hurricanes!

-Ange Rw

Break The Silence

If a boy tells you again that your ass is to small
for a girl, Remind him that your body is not his
If he questions your beauty, tell him you’re a not_
a quiz, you have to be the best version of you!

Somehow he thinks your body is like an arranged
painting in his houses owned to make him happy,
to make his life a little more colourful and full of life
It’s not she for him, you for him, you are not his!

I know you are told to tie your tongue tighter
You’re highly simplified though you’re a fighter
You gave and gave with all your heart and soul
Told women must endure everything & anything!

I know the part that once beat is now all silence
and trampled. In the end its all you got in return
But silence is not only what you inherited from_
your mothers, they’re so much more to explore!

If someone could save you, it would be you
If they tell you you’ve to be found by a man
Tell them, you’ve to find yourself to be happy
Happiness doesn’t revolve around “HE” but “YOU”!

You’ve always been brave and strong enough
The cultures, traditions, religious, politics and
whole universe convinced you that you are not
and never will be strong enough on your own!

It’s been a long time since you choose to be silent
The presence of your silence makes the world_
define you the way you don’t deserve to be defined
Don’t be defined by them, break the silence!

Ange Rw

Good enough

Your mind is a treasure that I’d love to discover
You give me an abyss of love, makes me recover
You push me I pull you like a puller and shover
You touchs, your look and kisses give me shiver!

I’m drunk on your love but still I’ll take another sip
Your finger scrolling me down like a monitor, I drip
I got body and moves only for you unzip, see me strip
As I squeeze one lip with ice and nip on your upper lip!

But once again I’m forced to wake up from this dream
by your scream before I even have a little juice or cream
though it’s in my dreams, so baby I write this ream-
to tell you that I miss the man I married to the extreme!

He was caring, loving, accepting and understanding
My body is no longer curving but my heart is still loving
So baby, make love to me this once and tell me you love
something about me not as simple as my body and curves..

I don’t care if after that you’ll tell me that you want me_
taking diet, I’d do it knowing that something as simple as
my body wasn’t the only thing I can give to you, show me
You’d still nip my nipple when they’re no longer standing!

Tell me what I think is not true that the reason you don’t_
touch me like before is not because you never loved me…
but my body. I’m angry to myself like steam stream that I_
was never good enough to be loved when beauty is gone!

I just want you to look at me and tell me I’m good enough
I am not tough enough to see you treating me so rough-
while you are tenderly pampering other ladies, I want you
to make love to me in reality not just in my dreams and say…

You’re good enough not to be shared!

-Ange Rw

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