Why women are only told to speak the silence?

 Women are told to speak the silence, why must they break the silence?

If there’s something that catches one’s attention nowadays is this term “End violence against women.”

Sadly when we talk violence against women people only think of things like beating and raping (raping between strangers).

They don’t understand or don’t even want to admit the truth that Rape mostly occurs between people who have relationship with each other, a woman is not safe in this world not even in her home.

Your father can rape you, your brother can rape you, your husband can rape you, your boyfriend can rape you, your teacher, your employer, your this and that, but how many women capable to break the silence about these kind of rape when no body is going to believe them?

They’ll be saying this:

                    She was wearing this

                     She was drinking this

                She was acting like this

                       She was reckless

       You’re his girlfriend not a property

 How can someone ask for rape?

The way society places responsibility for being sexually assaulted or raped on the victim, instead of the perpetrator.

    None of these women were asking for it?

No means no

I have no clue why this is even a topic, but people are saying that, if a woman wears revealing clothing, that its partially their fault. No, it their body, they can flaunt it and show it off in whatever clothing or accessories they want to. If the woman flirts with the man, even leads him on and hooks up with him, but lets say, doesn’t want to have any sexual things and clearly states it, it doesn’t matter whether she was the one to initiate the hook up, if she doesn’t want to participate in something sexually and makes it clear, then that is no invitation to be raped. It’s her body, its her choice whether or not she wants to do anything sexually, and if she is having sexual intercourse, it is to her consent that she can stop it when she wants to if she doesn’t want to continue or feels uncomfortable, etc.

Women should be able to walk past anyone they want without feeling threatened, they should be able to go out alone and walk wherever they want when ever they want. they should also be able to wear whatever they want just like men do. 
                    After all, we’re all humanbeings.

Let me ask men who says that it’s a woman’s fault, that she’s raped because the clothes she was wearing, that she was asking for it?

If it is the victims fault that they are raped as a result of what they wear then why the rape rate don’t climb massively in the summer.”

It is never the victims fault for rape so what if you do a bit of harmless flirting with someone doesnt give them the right to put something in your drink or rape you. No means no, no matter the circumstanes. Drunk or not. Conscious or not.

No means no


So why women don’t say this?

I saw a hot guy at a party…

 

He was wearing nothing but a pair of shorts showing off his fit body and was drinking heavily and flirting with all the girls. So it was kind of his fault that I saw all this and then took advantage of his drunkeness and nakedness and when he half passed out took him off to be raped.

There’s no justification for rape, for abusing women rights. Instead of telling women not to do certain things, tell men to assault them. Wherever you tell women not do certain things to avoid being assaulted you’re encouraging a men to do so.

NO ONE ASKS TO BE RAPED.

Flirting does not justify rape. Men are not animals that can’t control their sexual desires and women aren’t pieces of meat just there to be raped.

                 A man beating a woman
But how many people actually understand the cause of violence against women?

Violence against women is manifestation of historically unequal power relations between men and women. As long as you’re not fighting against the ideologies that men are superior humanbeings than women, violence against women will continue.

The major cause of violence against women is the system that have always put men over  women, as they call it Patriarcy system.

Patriarchy is a system in which males hold primary power and predominate in roles of political leadership, moral authority, social privilege and control of property.

Patriarchy as a system is historical:

  • Men appropriated themselves of women’s sexual right even before the formation of private property and class society.
  • States were organized in the form of patriarchy
  • Men learned to institute dominance and hieracy over people by their practice of earlier dominance and the institutionnalization of slavery.

           I wrote that on my twitter when I saw women defending patriarchy, I was sad.

Patriarchy has shaped cultural attitudes and practises and affects how we think and behave, until we become aware of its presence and challenge it.

The traditions, rules, and values of patriarchy, from the last six millennia, are often taught to girls by mothers who  believed they were helping their children to survive in a male dominated world.

“We all have an inner patriarch who controls us from the inside… from unconscious – Sidra Stone”

 “the inner patriarch operates in men as well as women, his voice is the voice of our culture”

Women only speak silence, most of women who were blessed with opportunities to speak only speak silence, and we know few people who have the ability to listen to the silence. Women who should be advocating for their fellow woman speak for culture, a culture that was created by men for men.

  Everytime a woman sees a man, she smells power. In a patriarchal society, women are excepted to be obedient and submissive at all times.

              by Letty Cottin Pogrebin

When a woman speaks the adverse effects of patriarchy, she is suddenly marked as a feminist, a name that men fear to hear in their ears, a name that is a threat to patriarchy. Most women fear to be named this name because society start calling her a woman who got no values, a woman fighting for something that will never be achieved, they tell her that men have always been superior and will always be, it even gets to a point where people tell her that she will never find a husband with feminists attitude.

The greatest lesson a woman should learn:

She is something big without or with a man, it’s the system, culture that made her believe she was nothing without a man.

Men and feminism: by definition feminism doesn’t mean women have to hate, it doesn’t even mean women are superior to men. It’s not about hurting men, it’s about uplifting women.

We’re told to tie our tongues tighter because simplicity is the hymen of a woman in this land of ours. But it’s time to break the silence.

The patriarchy system we live in speaks loudly through words and actions but women as one of its citizens are only told to speak the silence so  women tell me “isn’t it difficult to live in a kingdom that you don’t understand it’s language?” you’ve to learn their language to communicate and be understood, speak loudly, stop speaking the silence.

I know it’s difficult but it gets better so keep on putting on your cape each and every morning and keep saving your world one superhuman act at time.

Silence is golden, or so I was told when I was young. Later, everything changed. Silence equals death, the queer activists fighting the neglect and repression around Aids shouted in the streets. Silence is the ocean of the unsaid, the unspeakable, the repressed, the erased, the unheard. It surrounds the scattered islands made up of those allowed to speak and of what can be said and who listens.

                     Break the silence

Why must we only speak the silence?

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The moon 🌙

The moon 🌙 is not a light, right?

but look how it reflects the light,

even in the darkest night 🌃.

Just beautiful

Ange Rw

If only you knew how it feels

I bet you’re crazy! Really, you’re upset That you’re not blonde or brunette You want to be on every cassette You want to be an I can’t forget To see your face on each gazette It’s okay to be famous but really? You’re upset that you don’t have- everything. If only you knew what it feels like to have nothing! Ange Rw

Hope

Hope was the only beautiful thing I had

Yet I watched it slip through my fingers

Until it was something completely out of-

my world and now I regret loosing hope.

By loosing hope, I did kill my whole self and

I’m trying to un-kill myself but can’t

Lessons, don’t let hope slip out of your fingers!

Ange Rw

Regret

I wish I could have done this earlier

But regret is nothing more than-

a sharp knife stabbing you with reality!

Ange Rw

Onions

Why would you blame onions for making you cry when you’re the only one who cut it into a half? This is exactly how we always act as the victims! Ange Rw

You’re just a memories shop where he goes to remember how much he’s loved

On being informed you’re just an optional for someone who means the world to you that for him you’re just a game not someone to love.

Fearing to let your friends know him because you know you’re just a pirate for a season but still you love him that you can’t think of letting him go.

You’ll be on date with him knowing that he’s thinking about someone else but you know you can’t control his mind, all you’ve do is hope.

He’ll take the phone you’ll listen to those sweet words and those names he calls you and you’ll feel cheap in his eyes but still you love, you hope.

At night you can’t sleep thinking about how he’s fucking loving touching that girl, you know that you’ll never be the girl worth the fight for him.

To him you are just an easy target why bother how you feels, you’ll never be the mother of her kids why bother think of your life, he is selfish.

Next year her dream girl will be announced to be having a wedding in upcoming days and also to be having a children and he’ll call your number.

Take the phone and feel the warmth of his voice again he tells you he needs you; inform yourself this is just a favor from you nothing special.

When you meet him at his apartment, don’t think for just a second that he cleaned the apartment to impress you as far you remember you’re an option.

When he comes to welcome you do not think for just one second that he’s wearing that cologne for you, remember that you’re just a call way for him.

When he holds you do not count how many seconds left for his lips to touch yours recall that when he left you, you were as useless as scrap.

When he tells you that he missed you remind yourself that you’re not special, you’re just a library where he goes to read when he’s bored.

After the visit to his home you’ll go home feeling butterflies in your stomach thinking that maybe your dreams are going to become true for once in life.

In the morning you’ll wakeup feeling like you could go to his apartment and fall in his arms and tell him how you couldn’t sleep thinking about him.

You’ll talk to yourself “let me give him space and make him want me, make him miss me as much as I do” you’ll find yourself waiting forever.

Next week you’ll see his relationship status “In relationship with Chingalinga” he never thought about you like Jason thought about Cheyenne.

You’ll go in your bedrooms and start crying until your eyes become raising and asking yourself does he fall for their look like arranged paintings?

You’ll feel like writing his name everywhere in the middle of nowhere because in Kinyarwanda they say: “USHAKA GUKIRA INDWARA ARAYIRATA”.

Do not blame yourself for loving until it hurts it only means that you’re strong, do not run after him, you can survive and love someone else again.

She must be his favorite museum where he learns his past, present and discovers his future; she must be the girl of his dreams who make him happy.

You are just memories shop where he goes to remember how much he is loved!

Ange Rw

Don’t ask me why?

Don’t ask me why I believe in him
When I really never saw him
I just do, without him light is dim
He makes me strong without going in a gym
He doesn’t care if I’m fat or slim In his fountain of light is where I want to swim!

Ange Rw

Black girl’s magic

Dance to the rhymes of our souls and curves

Feel the black girl’s magic

Our skin is made of brown sugar and honey

Our skin is bold

and we are gold

We know how to sway our hips

And we slay it like a queen!


Ange Rw

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